Don't Mess With Chuck Norris!

When Chuck Norris has sex with a man it is not because he is gay, but because he has run out of women.

Chuck Norris doesn’t read books. He stares them down until he gets the information he wants.

Chuck Norris uses ribbed condoms inside out, so he gets the pleasure.

Since 1940, the year Chuck Norris was born, roundhouse kick related deaths have increase 13,000 percent.

There are no disabled people. Only people who have met Chuck Norris.

There is no chin behind Chuck Norris’ beard. There is only another fist.

It was once believed that Chuck Norris actually lost a fight to a pirate, but that is a lie, created by Chuck Norris himself to lure more pirates to him.

Those aren’t credits that roll after Walker Texas Ranger; it is actually a list of people that Chuck Norris roundhouse kicked in the face that day.

Chuck Norris’ tears cure cancer. Too bad he has never cried.

Chuck Norris does not have AIDS but he gives it to people anyway.

Chuck Norris recently had the idea to sell his urine as a canned beverage. We know this beverage as Red Bull.

Chuck Norris does not sleep. He waits.

The chief export of Chuck Norris is pain.

When the Boogeyman goes to sleep every night he checks his closet for Chuck Norris.

Everyone uses Google to find out facts about anything and everything. Google uses Chuck Norris.

If you ask Chuck Norris what time it is, he always says, "Two seconds till." After you ask, "Two seconds to what?" he roundhouse kicks you in the face.

The way the wind blows depends on which direction Chuck Norris is kicking ass

Self Portrait with my new camera...

'Intelligent Design' Barred from Dover, Pa. Schools

Honestly, it's about time this has happened. Listen here.


Education
'Intelligent Design' Barred from Dover, Pa. Schools

NPR.org, December 20, 2005 · HARRISBURG, Pa. (AP) - "Intelligent design" cannot be mentioned in biology classes in a Pennsylvania public school district, a federal judge said Tuesday, ruling in one of the biggest courtroom clashes on evolution since the 1925 Scopes trial.
Dover Area School Board members violated the Constitution when they ordered that its biology curriculum must include the notion that life on Earth was produced by an unidentified intelligent cause, U.S. District Judge John E. Jones III said. Several members repeatedly lied to cover their motives even while professing religious beliefs, he said.
The school board policy, adopted in October 2004, was believed to have been the first of its kind in the nation.
"The citizens of the Dover area were poorly served by the members of the Board who voted for the ID Policy," Jones wrote.
The board's attorneys had said members were seeking to improve science education by exposing students to alternatives to Charles Darwin's theory of natural selection. Intelligent-design proponents argue that it cannot fully explain the existence of complex life forms.
The plaintiffs challenging the policy argued that intelligent design amounts to a secular repackaging of creationism, which the courts have already ruled cannot be taught in public schools.
The Dover policy required students to hear a statement about intelligent design before ninth-grade biology lessons on evolution.
The statement said Charles Darwin's theory is "not a fact," has inexplicable "gaps," and refers students to an intelligent-design textbook, "Of Pandas and People," for more information.
Jones said advocates of intelligent design "have bona fide and deeply held beliefs which drive their scholarly endeavors" and that he didn't believe the concept shouldn't be studied and discussed.
But, he wrote, "our conclusion today is that it is unconstitutional to teach ID as an alternative to evolution in a public school science classroom."
The controversy also divided the community and galvanized voters to oust eight incumbent school board members who supported the policy in the Nov. 8 school board election.

word

"So the Gospel is a good, joyful message about Christ our Savior. Whoever preaches correctly preaches the Gospel and nothing but joy. How can our hearts have a greater joy than knowing that Christ is given to us to be our own? So the nature of the Gospel is not just teaching the story and life of Christ but also personalizing it and offering it to all who believe. What would it help me if Christ were born a thousand times and this was sung to me every day with wonderful music, if I did not understand that His death was for me and that I should make it my own? No matter how badly it is preached, my heart hears the Gospel with joy. It penetrates all the way through and sounds wonderful." Martin Luther, By Faith alone.

Wooo Hoooo! Getting depressed:(

I was jacked up yesterday...I just received my new Nikon D50 (couldn't foot the bill for the quicker D70). This camera is bad ass. I love it.

The whole purchasing of the camera was a total debacle. K purchased it over the phone via some low life NY cut throat shitty electronics store. It was the classic bait and switch, $465 dollars for the camera, yes ma'm. Oh, but you have to get the upgraded battery, quick charger, 1gig memory card...$1056 dollars later, I have a new camera. Don't get me wrong, It is a kick ass camera but the price is a little higher than I thought reasonable. After a couple of hours on the phone and back and forth with the e-mail, I decided to just take it in the bootay. After that resolution, I have really enjoyed it.

I put in the fat memory card that the camera indicated 600 photos left....yes, more than 200 roles of film. Suck that Kodak.

Anyway, it’s a rainy dreary day. I can't wait till next Thursday; I'm going to Florida for the holidays. The rain really brings me down.

Later.

methodist commercial

I ran across a new commercial by the United Methodist Church yesterday. I found it to be very hopeful and open. I think the gist of the message was "We are on a journey that leads us toward God". Here is a link for another video from their site.